Wednesday, February 25, 2009

/The Monster's Prayer/Meg Whitman/Don Wentworth/

(P1) Philosophical


The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is an invented deity designed as a satirical protest to the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution...And, according to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are “absolute divine beings” and the original Pastafarians. (Wikipedia)

artwork by Vincent



The Monster’s Prayer

by Ed Coletti

Our Flying Spaghetti Monster
who lives in a huge uncovered pot,
“Pirate” be thy name.
Thy ship will come,
“Aargh!” will be rung
in Somalia where it is heading.
Give us right now a bit of your sauce
for enduring our idiocies
as we endure yours.
And don’t let us eat too many meatballs
by tempting with fragrance of basil and garlic
but save us from buccaneers just like yourself
before we finally walk the long plank.
For thine are the pirate ships,
and the loot or the booty
now or forever — whatever.
Amen.

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(P3) Political

25 Random Things About Me: Meg Whitman

by Chris Kelly at Huffington Post

1) I'm running for governor of California.

2) I have a billion dollars.

3) I'm 58 years old. I've been a proud member of the Republican Party for two years.

4) My campaign website is called Megwhitman.com. Its background is the color of money.

5) I have an MBA from Harvard, just like George W. Bush. What could go wrong?

6) I'm running for governor because I strongly believe that California should be friendlier to business and, uh, I guess that's about it.

7) Did I mention the billion dollars?

8) People say I use too much business jargon when I frame strategy fundamentals trend paradigm.

9) I have two beautiful sons and their names are Prioritize and Skill Set.

10) Last week, the LA Times asked me my position on school vouchers and my answer was "I don't know how to answer that question."

11) Last week, the LA Times asked me if schools should report the children of illegal immigrants. My answer was "I want to think about that a little bit."

12) Last week, the San Francisco Chronicle asked me my position on offshore drilling and my answer was "That is an issue I would like to study further."

13) Wait, someone just handed me a card. I do have a position on an issue besides statewide business-friendliness. I also want to cut taxes and spend more money on education.

14) Which won't be easy, since 55% of the state general fund budget is spent on education.

15) I've just been handed another card.

16) "This is an issue I would like to study further."

17) I believe gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children.

18) I supported Proposition 8 because I don't believe gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to marry.

19) And I think their bastard children deserve a wonderful education that I'll pay for by cutting taxes.

20) On second thought, this is an issue that I would like to study further.

21) When the San Francisco Chronicle asked me about my plans to reduce the size of government I said, "I can't be that specific on it."

22) I believe we "have a moral responsibility to be good stewards of the environment" but I don't believe we should be raising emissions standards on automobiles or "doing things that damage the car companies."

23) The American Lung Association rates Los Angeles the worst city in America for year-round particle pollution. 3rd worst is Bakersfield. 5th worst is Visalia. 8th is Fresno. 9th is Hanford.

24) A few years ago, when I was running eBay, I was asked about our expansion into China:

Q: Can you give us your thoughts on doing business in China given the civil rights issues there?

A: We do not have the issue that many of the portals have doing business in China because in China, we are not serving news, we're not serving really anything that has to do with commentary.

My position on civil rights in China isn't even "I'd like to study it further." It's "Who gives a shit."

25) California's unemployment rate is 9.3%. There's gotta be someone else who wants this job.

from Chris Kelly at Huffington Post 2-16-09

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(P3) Poetical

Something in the slight spring
of the branch
as the bird
alights —


Donald Wentworth

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on any of the above or below. Log in under "Name" or "Anonymous" if you like, but please be sure to sign some facsimile of your name. Actual name is best, but use what you like. Or email me at edcoletti@sbcglobal.net if you have difficulty.

2 comments:

Donald Wentworth said...

Ed:

Thanks much for the poetic highlight. It's an honor.
I'm glad you liked it.

Don

Anonymous said...

I love your prayer. It reminds me of Jacques Prevert's irreverent "Our Father
Who art in heaven
Stay there ( )"
(" Notre Père qui êtes aux cieux
Restez-y"; yours is more for the 21st century [cutting Ed(ge)!]

The Chris Kelly piece is hilarious.Such an indictment.As long as politicians keep thinking money is a valid substitute for brains and as long as voters without any keep electing them, we will get the government we deserve.

Granny Vee